Hello Sonya,
I have a teenager (13) who seems to dress very provocative. Bad thing is her body is very developed and she is a sweet girl but, I hate how she dresses. Sonya, what can I do to help her dress more age appropriate?
Signed: TK-Dublin, Ireland
Hello TK, thank you so much for this question. I cannot begin to tell you how often I see and hear this complaint. You know TK, the thing is that most of these young people that are dressing in such a way that is too mature, too provocative or overly sexy is due to them having a poor self-image or the wrong image due to what they are seeing in the magazines, media and entertainment. There also seems to be a misconception around middle and high school young girls, that less is more sexy and, its becoming more of and excepted style trend. The one thing that most of these young girls don't see is, the bigger picture, which is that looking and dressing in such away will only bring negative attention their way. With this being stated how do you fix this issue? I have a few tips that I want to give you and some real talk as well.
1. Power of Positivity: You need to sit down one on one with your daughter, and tell her why dressing so sexy isn't a good thing and why she CANNOT dress in this manner. You need to watch your tone and not be condescending even though she looks like the local streetwalker. You have to also realize that she is trying to find her identify and you as her mother will be able to help her to mold her style.
2. Identify Her Personal Style: You can purchase some of the top fashion magazines and look at what she likes style wise. Once she has shown you what she likes, mind you most of the things she points out will not be age appropriate. You now have the chance to help in redefining that particular look by, making subtle changes to bring that particular style into her age bracket. Do not waiver when it comes to things that aren't appropriate for her age. She has time to dress sexier as she get older but, with the right direction and mentoring, she'll be able to make sound style choices throughout her life. Here is a very important point: Don't make her feel as if she is some little kid because, you want her to receive what you are saying in a positive light.
3. Be Patient: Remember that your teen daughter will have objections as well as needing time to get used to your selections, major changes and revamping of her personal style/image. Do not pressure her and say things like "You have no choice or It's my way or no way" this is just closing the door to your relationship and to having a positive effect on her style and change.
TK, I want to speak with you very honestly and candid. Your daughter is currently only 13 years of age, and with this being stated, she doesn't have a job nor does she have her own money. Meaning you are still in control of what she is bringing into your home and putting on her body. As her mother; you are responsible for her and you have taken the easy way out by stating she is choosing and dressing too provocative. TK, your daughter knows that you aren't going to check her(put her in her place) and she also knows that you are very lenient when the clothing comes into the house(you've not taken a solid stand and put your foot down, that by any means will you have this type of clothing in your home or on her). TK, the best way to handle any future issues is to address it head on and not act like you didn't notice or, that you are approving of poor choices or behaviors. TK, your daughter is young enough that you can change and help her have a better self-image and you can help her to know that what she sees in the media, movies and TV isn't how life nor how you want her life to be objectified by men. TK, it is so dangerous out her and your daughter has time to do the things that she is dreaming but, if you don't handle this matter quickly and correctly she may fall into the trap, that so many young girls find themselves in; which is older men praying on young girls.
Once again I thank you for this question and I wish you well in helping your daughter except herself as a beautiful, smart and intelligent young lady. I look forward to hearing your feedback and please remember, you have the power to mold her choices.
XOXOX!
Sonya LaRae-Certified Lifestyles Coach
This article is property of LaPaz Image/Event Consultants and copyrights of WhispersinaBottle.weebly.com © 2013. It is prohibited by law to copy, add or release this information without signed authorization of the so said company herein listed in this article under the laws of The United States and Philadelphia, Pennsylvania Copyright Infringement Laws
I have a teenager (13) who seems to dress very provocative. Bad thing is her body is very developed and she is a sweet girl but, I hate how she dresses. Sonya, what can I do to help her dress more age appropriate?
Signed: TK-Dublin, Ireland
Hello TK, thank you so much for this question. I cannot begin to tell you how often I see and hear this complaint. You know TK, the thing is that most of these young people that are dressing in such a way that is too mature, too provocative or overly sexy is due to them having a poor self-image or the wrong image due to what they are seeing in the magazines, media and entertainment. There also seems to be a misconception around middle and high school young girls, that less is more sexy and, its becoming more of and excepted style trend. The one thing that most of these young girls don't see is, the bigger picture, which is that looking and dressing in such away will only bring negative attention their way. With this being stated how do you fix this issue? I have a few tips that I want to give you and some real talk as well.
1. Power of Positivity: You need to sit down one on one with your daughter, and tell her why dressing so sexy isn't a good thing and why she CANNOT dress in this manner. You need to watch your tone and not be condescending even though she looks like the local streetwalker. You have to also realize that she is trying to find her identify and you as her mother will be able to help her to mold her style.
2. Identify Her Personal Style: You can purchase some of the top fashion magazines and look at what she likes style wise. Once she has shown you what she likes, mind you most of the things she points out will not be age appropriate. You now have the chance to help in redefining that particular look by, making subtle changes to bring that particular style into her age bracket. Do not waiver when it comes to things that aren't appropriate for her age. She has time to dress sexier as she get older but, with the right direction and mentoring, she'll be able to make sound style choices throughout her life. Here is a very important point: Don't make her feel as if she is some little kid because, you want her to receive what you are saying in a positive light.
3. Be Patient: Remember that your teen daughter will have objections as well as needing time to get used to your selections, major changes and revamping of her personal style/image. Do not pressure her and say things like "You have no choice or It's my way or no way" this is just closing the door to your relationship and to having a positive effect on her style and change.
TK, I want to speak with you very honestly and candid. Your daughter is currently only 13 years of age, and with this being stated, she doesn't have a job nor does she have her own money. Meaning you are still in control of what she is bringing into your home and putting on her body. As her mother; you are responsible for her and you have taken the easy way out by stating she is choosing and dressing too provocative. TK, your daughter knows that you aren't going to check her(put her in her place) and she also knows that you are very lenient when the clothing comes into the house(you've not taken a solid stand and put your foot down, that by any means will you have this type of clothing in your home or on her). TK, the best way to handle any future issues is to address it head on and not act like you didn't notice or, that you are approving of poor choices or behaviors. TK, your daughter is young enough that you can change and help her have a better self-image and you can help her to know that what she sees in the media, movies and TV isn't how life nor how you want her life to be objectified by men. TK, it is so dangerous out her and your daughter has time to do the things that she is dreaming but, if you don't handle this matter quickly and correctly she may fall into the trap, that so many young girls find themselves in; which is older men praying on young girls.
Once again I thank you for this question and I wish you well in helping your daughter except herself as a beautiful, smart and intelligent young lady. I look forward to hearing your feedback and please remember, you have the power to mold her choices.
XOXOX!
Sonya LaRae-Certified Lifestyles Coach
This article is property of LaPaz Image/Event Consultants and copyrights of WhispersinaBottle.weebly.com © 2013. It is prohibited by law to copy, add or release this information without signed authorization of the so said company herein listed in this article under the laws of The United States and Philadelphia, Pennsylvania Copyright Infringement Laws
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Photographs Used In Article: Google.com and LaPaz Image/Event Consultants
Join our sister site Lapazimageing Fashion Forward http://www.lapazimageingfashion.blogspot.com
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